August 29, 2019
SEATTLE — News of Amazon’s catastrophic marketing failure has spread like wildfire. “We’re sorry,” said Jeff Bezos, looking down from his penthouse. This comes after Brazilian police discovered CCTV footage of workers wearing Amazon logos setting fire to the rainforest.
“We wanted to do something new with our marketing in Brazil. We wanted to do something bold, something that would really ignite public interest. Obviously, we can see that this strategy has backfired.” The company went on to express its displeasure that the fire would “cause a significant uptick in Amazon’s carbon footprint,” which they deemed as “not cool”.
“When ‘Amazon Fire’ started trending on Twitter, we were ecstatic!” said George Parks, a member of Amazon’s marketing team.
In business, any press is good press, and Amazon hasn’t wasted any time capitalizing on the publicity. In an official statement, Amazon said, “We are sincerely sorry. To make up for it, we’re giving the indigenous people of Brazil a free month of Amazon Prime! Oh, and we promise to plant some trees and give discounts on metal straws.”
By: Gabe F.