Feb. 14, 2019
BOTHELL—Last night, Bothell’s notorious ‘Bubble Bandits’ struck again, using their signature bubble-busting tactics to vandalize the fountain at City Hall.
All across the Seattle area, fountains overflowing with pink bubbles have been popping up. Led by 28-year-old Vito Costello, the “Bubble Bandits” have been ‘bubbling’ fountains since last December. A self-proclaimed activist for the people, Vito says that their “intents are fully altruistic.”
“We’re law-abiding citizens that provide a valuable service to the city,” Vito tells us. “These fountains need to be cleaned. If the government won’t do it, we have to take things into our own hands don’t you think?”
“Fountains are a textbook example of pollution,” Vito adds. “Fountain water accumulates all this filth and grime, which eventually evaporates into the air. It seeps into the lungs of our people, our children. Before you know it, it trickles into our brains.”
When dish soap is put into a fountain, the soapy water is continually cycled, which stimulates the growth of bubbly froth. Put gallons of dish soap in the fountain, and the bubbling will continue for days. However, soap is not the only ingredient that the “Bubble Bandits” use. Cases of red wine are also poured into the fountain to produce a pink tint in the bubbles and a distinct aroma. Walk near any of the affected fountains and the scent of red wine will hit you.
Vito says, “I love wine. It’s unconditional love. And this is my way of spreading the love… Plus, Costco had wine on sale.”
“See, what we create is a multi-sensory experience,” Vito explains. “First, you have the beautiful work of art for your sense of sight. On top of that, the scent of red wine is a blessing for your sense of smell. Most importantly, you’ll know that these bubbles are cleaning the fountain, that they are cleaning up this city. And from that, you get your sense of fulfillment.”
However, bubbling fountains does have its drawbacks. Scientists have discovered that bubbles cause irreversible damage to the internal framework of the fountain. Is it moral to leave these fountains at risk for the greater good? Studies show that the public is conflicted on this issue.
“Whether you love it or hate it,
Minecraft bubbles can be enjoyed by people of all ages,” says a member of the Bubble Bandits. “The act of bubbling fountains is not only sanitary, but it is also educational: bubbles serve as a valuable opportunity to teach children about solids, liquids, gases, and how to prove that gravity is a social construct.”
Vito expresses agreement about the value of bubbles with affirmative head nods and strong eye contact interspersed with the occasional “mhm” and “I agree.”
Later, he tweeted: “People either love me or they don’t know me. I’m basically the Banksy of fountains.”
The state condemns all types of vandalizing, including the act of ‘bubbling’ fountains. If you have any information on the “Bubble Bandits” please update the Wikipedia page as soon as possible.
Reported By: Goat